What is your favorite color? Fashion Diva Girl started our dinner conversation on Sunday with this question. After church, we headed to The Lanai At Mamalabay to have linner (late lunch, early dinner).
So, here we were sitting outside enjoying the beautiful weather in Hawaii and watching the waves when this question came about. Of course we each took turns sharing our favorite colors. When it was my turn, she smiled and said, “Blue. Mommy’s favorite color is blue.” I smiled and nodded.
It’s no secret to my family what my favorite color is. Yes, Mamas and Coffee is all about black and red, but that’s because those colors are sexy to me. And ladies, we should feel sexy in our own skin. BOOM!!!!  Ok, anywho….blue has always been my favorite color, and our kids know this. But there was something a little special about this conversation on this particular day.
Over the weekend we discussed listening to others. Most of the time we hear what a person is saying, but we are NOT listening to them. Instead, we hear a few words to only begin formulating our rebuttal. Or if I want to lighten the blow to you, maybe it should say…We don’t understand, so we start sharing our opinions and views in hopes of shedding light on the other person sharing.  Naw, let me just be blunt! We listen to what we want to listen to, and most of the time we STOP listening when something is said that we don’t agree with, we don’t like, or when we feel uncomfortable. You hear me, but you’re not listening. Ohhhhh….did I just step on some toes? It’s ok. We’re all guilty on some level.
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As we all sat peacefully at dinner, I was reminded that if we continue to teach and show love, share stories, and experiences, we will eventually be heard. Our stories and feelings will be taken into account.  You see, maybe we all need to listen to one another and learn.
Remove your personal feelings and thoughts when someone is sharing their life story or feelings with you. You may learn a little something about them and their walk in life. Trust me, everyone has a story to share and a lesson to teach. Are you willing to learn?
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I agree that we should not let our personal thoughts and feelings intrude on personal stories shared with us. I always believed that in doing so it in some way invalidated the person’s feelings.
YES! We often get hung up on what they say as a personal attack to us, when if we listen we could understand it’s their story, their truth, their feelings.
A few years ago my focus word was LISTEN… I admit I am still working on this but the changes it has made in my life and so worth the effort.
This! Folks no longer listen. I admit I’m guilty of it too when I’m busy it’s hard to really stop and listen because I lose complete focus and it throws me off. But if I’m not doing anything my attention is all yours.
This was such an interesting read. Having emotional intelligence is one of the hardest things to acquire in life.
I work on my listening skills all the time. My brain moves fast and sometimes I make assumptions in conversation. It’s such a critical skill for letting people know you are paying attention and truly care.
Great advice to keep our own feelings out of someone else’s story. If we do not take the time to listen to other people and only listen to our own thoughts and feelings we cannot be of much service.
Well said. Listening is an important skill. It shows that we are attentive without judging the other person. Ofcourse, we also learn a lot if we learn to listen.
We learn so much when we stop to listen. Way more than we can ever imagine.
I love this post so much! I believe that we rarely take the time to truly listen and hear another person’s story. We have to take more time to dig deeper and really get to build quality communication in our lives!
Super deep!!! The only time my child dives deep is if I say no to something. Lol! But yes, society has become a place where we try to convince others of why they should think like us instead of accepting what people say.
I love the quote from Ms. Yellen above. It’s true that no human has a monopoly on truth. That’s a good point to keep in mind when discussing opinions.
Listening and hearing are definitely different things. It is a habit to take what someone says and make it about you instead of learning about them.
Exactly. Someone’s response to you belongs to them. It has nothing to do with you, but we fail at separating the two.
Sometimes we should just learn to listen to people with no judgement and be a little empathetic. I am learning to do this more as I grow.
It’s a learning curve for sure. But, one we all need to practice more.
I loved reading this! I try my hardest to be the best listener! It’s the greatest gift I can give (my undivided attention)
Yes it is! We forget listening is so important.
This was awesome! I definitely wasn’t expecting this from the title lol. I agree every situation doesn’t require deeper understanding. Sometimes we must take people’s answers/thoughts at face value and keep it moving.
LOL A nice little twist for sure. When my daughter asked the question, and the conversation went around the table, it made me think about how she could’ve tried to dig deeper or “convince” any of us for more. Instead, she took what we said and accepted it. Often we don’t listen to what others are saying….the answer is simple if we would just listen. Thanks for stopping by.
This was very interesting and totally not what I expected. But sometimes it is better to keep our mouth shut and ears open, because we may just learn something even from our children.