Making Peace in the Parenting War Zone

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When you have two parents that are bringing up one or more children, it is bound to be the case that some disputes are going to start to crop up somewhere along the way. After all, both of you will have been brought up in different ways and will inevitably have differing ideas of how best to bring up your own kids. However, there are healthy and unhealthy ways of resolving these disputes. If you allow them to overwhelm you, it is all too easy to allow your relationship to suffer at the same time. There are several main ways of resolving these parenting disputes more effectively. So, let’s look into a few of the main options that you have available to you.

Focus on communication 

The most important step that you can take is to focus on communication, ensuring that you are both putting your cards on the table and exactly why you have a certain parenting style. Of course, there may be times where you are completely opposed in the approach that you would like to take. On other occasions, it may be that you are closer together than you thought and it will just take a little bit of compromise to reach an effective solution. Either way, you are simply going to assume the worst about one another and it is going to feel like you are miles apart unless you lay all your cards out on the table.

Know when you need help

In some situations, it may be the case that you are not able to resolve a dispute on your own and you end up needing the support of a third party such as a professional counselor. They may be able to step in and offer some support that will make it more likely that you can reach the type of conclusion that is satisfying for everyone involved. Alternatively, it may be that you are able to speak to other parents who get you, and they can give you some advice. In some situations when it is a real struggle to resolve everything and it is not good for the kids, you may then need to get the support of a lawyer. Ultimately, it all comes down to the type of issues that you are facing and how best you are going to face them as a team.

Focus on what you agree on 

When you are having big disputes with one another, it can be all too easy to get into a situation where you are only focusing on the negatives in the situation, your relationship and your partner as a person. However, this type of negative thinking can be highly toxic and lead to a situation where you are not really listening to one another properly. Instead, it is a good exercise to focus on the positives in your relationship and what it is that you agree on with one another. Ultimately, it all comes down to reframing your way of thinking as this can have a big impact on how you are viewing the situation as a whole.

Put your kids first 

When you are locked into these parenting disputes, it can be all too easy to land on a situation where you are simply not putting your kids first any more. So, when you are in the heat of these arguments, you really need to go back and think about why you are arguing in the first place. It is all about your kids. If you are putting the conflict before their own happiness, this is bound to lead to the exact opposite situation to the one that you had initially intended. Ultimately, it is vital that you resolve any disputes with one eye firmly on your kids and how they are reacting to any arguments and conflict that you are having. Sometimes, this can be enough for you to simply lay down your arms and once again feel like the two of you are getting back on the same page to some degree.

There is no doubt that parenting disputes of any kind can be extremely tough to manage, so you need to make sure that you are always putting your kids first in any issues that you have been experiencing with one another. This way, it is much more likely that you are going to get back on the same page once again, which will certainly help the relationship as a whole, as well as the way in which you are bringing up your kids.

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