This website contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Some posts are in collaboration, guest, and partnered in efforts to bring YOU great information and inspiration to your life..

Last updated October 19, 2026

If you live in the same place for years, you may or may not understand this story, but I gotta share it anyway. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that we are a Navy family, this means we move every couple of years. Besides the stress of moving, there’s the stress of just having your circle of friends.  Making friends as a military wife is stressful and can be a wild ride.

My first priority is ensuring our kids have a circle of friends. Our kids are at the age of having friends outside of school and hopefully those friends live in our neighborhood so they can hang out.  No, we aren’t hand picking our children’s friends for them anymore (you know the playdate years), but we are monitoring to help guide them in the right direction with their selection.

What I Hate Most About Military Life

I get the question about what I hate most about the military life, and my answer is always, “I love being a Navy wife!”  This is a very true statement.  I LOVE the military lifestyle.  I love packing up moving every couple of years, seeing the world, leaving the crazy folks I meet and making new friends along the way.  Nope, I can’t lie about any of this.

What I will say I dislike the most is, having to find my people each time we move. Boy, oh boy. Finding my people becomes harder with each move and with age.

As I grow older, I realize there are just certain things I will not and cannot tolerate. Also, with older children, there are fewer opportunities to strike up a random conversation with the mom sitting on the bench at the playground. You already know how it is to be home alone all day. You welcome any adult conversation to make it through. Heck, you start stalking hoping the other mom is at the playground each day you drive by.

Making Friends As A Military Wife Is Like Dating

I often joke about “wife dating.” What I mean by this is when you meet another military wife in our housing community, at an event, the commissary, a coffee shop, or just out and about any ole place. You make eye contact and start small talk. Something may or may not click. If it clicks, there may be an exchange of numbers, and if you are afraid to ask for that trade, you go home mad with hopes of seeing her again.  You’re laughing, but you know you’ve done it.

If either is brave enough to request the exchange of contact info or you do the Facebook search, the game begins.  Who calls first? How soon do you call or text? How long do you actually talk? Yes!  It’s that crucial y’all. You can’t seem to be too needy, but you also don’t want to appear to be a jerk.

With this recent move, my goal is to find my people early. The saddest thing ever is to finally click with someone you see all the time for 13 months.  That 14th month, you decide to be friendly, and they tell you they are PCSing in 2 months. YIKES!

I’m Making Connections Outside Of My Comfort Zone To Meet People

This will crack some of you up, especially for my readers who know me personally. On an afternoon stroll with Equestrian Girl Forever, I met a lady. We chatted, laughed, and chatted more. No, we didn’t exchange contact information, but we clicked. But, for some strange reason, this lady thought I worked out. HONEY, PLEASE. NO!  lol

Later that afternoon and after telling my husband how I was going to stalk look for this lady again, I received an invite to a fitness group. This was my in! Yes, we started a full conversation via messenger, then FB friends, and we now chat and hangout. LOVE this chick, by the way!

Reluctantly, I went to the workout class that following Friday.  I swear these women try to kill me at every workout. The entire time I cuss every last one in my mind.

Let me show you what I imagined us doing….

What we actually do…..

As Brooke said in this video, everyone is so encouraging. I’m nowhere near where the ladies are in the group I attend, but they push and encourage me every day. I feel like I’m getting stronger too! SCORE!!!

So, what does this have to do with making friends as a military wife? Look outside your comfort zone. Check your base or military housing FB groups to see what activities are going on. Give it a try; you never know where you may find YOUR community.  And this just isn’t for military wives; this is for any adult trying to make friendships out in this big ‘ole world.

2026 Update: Still Finding My People

Well, well, well. Here we are almost ten years later, and guess what? I’m STILL finding my people! 😂

When I originally wrote this post back in 2017, I was a military wife raising three daughters, moving from place to place, and trying to build friendships along the way. Fast-forward to 2026, and those little girls aren’t so little anymore. They’re all off doing their own thing, I’m officially an empty nester, and life looks a whole lot different these days.

One thing I’ve learned is that finding friendships in midlife can be just as challenging as finding them when you’re younger. Maybe even more challenging! When the kids were little, there were school events, playdates, birthday parties, and all sorts of opportunities to meet other moms. Now? Honey, we’re all trying to figure out what this next chapter of life looks like. Some friendships have lasted through the years, others have faded, and sometimes you look around and realize you’d like a few more people in your circle.

And here’s the thing. At this stage of life, I’m not looking to collect a bunch of friends just to say I have friends. I want genuine connections. People I can laugh with, have real conversations with, try something new with, or simply sit around and do absolutely nothing with. And yes, sometimes that means stepping outside my comfort zone and being the one to say, “Hey, we should get together sometime!” Then actually following through. Imagine that! 😂

That’s one of the reasons I’m continuing to build Mamas and Coffee®. It’s about more than motherhood, and it’s certainly about more than drinking coffee. It’s about conversation, community, and FUN! Whether we’re chatting online in our private Coffee House or getting together in person for a Sip & Yap, I want women to have a place where they can show up, be themselves, and make genuine connections.

So, if you’re in your 40s, 50s, 60s, or beyond and you’re still finding your people, you’re not alone. And don’t think you have to have it all figured out before putting yourself out there. Sometimes a simple hello turns into a friendship you didn’t even know you needed.

Now, let’s talk about it. Has making friends gotten easier or harder as you’ve gotten older? Have you found your people, or are you still looking?

Come hang out with us in the Mamas and Coffee® Facebook group and join the conversation. And if you’re in the Northern Virginia area, keep an eye out for our Sip & Yaps. I’d love to meet you in person!

 

Did you enjoy this article? Useful? Entertaining? Your support is appreciated in helping us continue spreading our message and sharing content. The cup of coffee you buy is greatly appreciated. Do you want to join a fun, supportive group of women? Come on over to our supportive, loving and fun facebook group. Mamas and Coffee® is all about the REAL of womanhood. Join Us.