Interracial dating is nothing new these days. No matter where you go, you will see an interracial couple. Heck, I remember growing up, and all the white girls who liked the few black boys in our town had to hide it. It was a major NO, No!
If you’ve read my blog in the past, you know I’ve touched on Race In America. If you’re in my Facebook Group, you know I even do LIVES talking about Race. Hey, if we don’t have open, real and raw discussions, we will never grow as individuals nor as a society.
So….the question came up in our home about “dating” (“”cause where are you going?) and dating outside of our race. Well, I paused and said, “I would throat punch him!” My child choked and said, “well, that escalated quickly. So, you would have a problem with us dating a guy outside of our race?” I casually smiled and said, “I would interrogate any little fella who liked my daughters.”
Let me give you the rundown on my concerns about interracial teen dating for my daughters.
Any little guy who wanted to “date” my daughters would have a series of questions. And for the young man who was not black, he would have a few more questions. The main one being…. Are YOUR PARENTS AWARE THE GIRL YOU LIKE IS BLACK?!
Why would this be an important and direct question? She is MY child, and I must protect her. How will the parents react once they see her? Will they make insulting comments, mistreat her, etc.? Are you sneaking to see and talk to her? All of these things matter to me. As an adult, you can handle these situations with family members. As a teen, not so much.
For our daughters, we don’t care who they like, who they date, who they love, or who they marry. As long as the guy treats them with respect, has goals in life (legitimate goals) and is mannerable. And the most important thing…LOVES GOD!
Many homes refuse to talk about race because it’s an uncomfortable topic. The belief is if we don’t acknowledge it, it doesn’t exist. Maybe you aren’t comfortable with your child dating outside of your race because you have family members or friends who would disapprove. Maybe you just don’t believe in interracial dating. Or perhaps you have the same concerns as I do.
Take a moment and discuss interracial teen dating with your teen. Ask them if they are crushing on someone (in general), how to handle the situation if someone is disrespectful to a couple because of being interracial, etc. Teens may need a little help navigating these issues.
You might be trying to figure out how to talk to your teen about interracial teen dating without sounding all weird or “uncool.” You may be surprised how open your teen is about life once the conversation is presented to them. I won’t lie, I’ve been both surprised and happy about how open our girls have been about their teenage life at school. Yeah, sometimes they leave me with a blank stare and scratching my head, but providing the space for open discussion is important. No, kids won’t tell you everything, but we want our kids to know we are here for them.
One of our goals with our children is to expose them to as many cultures as possible. We seek to enroll them in diverse schools and live in diverse neighborhoods. Diversity is important to help see and understand the world. Because of this, we know our kids very well may come home crushing on someone outside of their race.
The real world is far beyond our door, our family, our street or that bubble we all try to keep our children behind. Interracial teen dating happened years ago, and it’s still happening today. What are your concerns for your teens? How do you plan on handling it if it presented itself?
Heck, I’m just trying to wrap my mind around knowing my daughter may have a crush or some little guy crushing on my daughter. Oh, the joys of parenting. And for those curious minds out there….N0, there’s no young man in the picture at this moment.