Being the Glue: The Strength of Holding It All Together
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the glue—the one holding relationships together, making sure plans happen, checking in on everyone, and ensuring no one feels left out. I’m the one juggling schedules, shifting my own priorities to accommodate others, and sending those “just checking on you” messages, even when my own cup is running half full.
Being the glue? Oh, it’s a strength. A beautiful one, even. It means you care, you love hard, and you want the people in your life to feel valued and supported. You keep the group chats alive, initiate family gatherings, and remember the little details that make people smile. You are the cheerleader, the planner, the bridge builder.
When Being the Glue Becomes Exhausting
But let’s talk about the other side of it.
What happens when the glue starts to dry out? When the cheerleader’s energy fades? When you realize you’re always bending while others don’t?
Exhaustion. Resentment. Frustration. A silent scream of, “Can someone check on ME for once?”
I’ve felt it. I’ve lived it. And if you’re reading this, I bet you have too.
There comes a point where being the glue starts to feel like a burden instead of a blessing. When you start to wonder, “If I stopped checking in, would anyone check on me?” And honestly, that question stings. Because deep down, you know the answer might not be what you hope for.
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Why It’s Okay to Bow Out and Put Yourself First
So, what do you do when you’re tired of being the one?
You bow out.
Not in anger. Not in bitterness. But in self-preservation.
You take a step back, not because you don’t love them, but because you need to love yourself too. You stop rearranging your schedule for people who won’t do the same for you. You stop chasing friendships that wouldn’t survive without your effort. You stop feeling guilty for prioritizing your own peace.
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Bowing Out Isn’t Quitting—It’s a Reset
Bowing out isn’t quitting. It’s resetting. Think about your bow out being an extended ME TIME.
It’s giving yourself permission to rest, recharge, and refocus on the relationships that pour back into you. It’s recognizing that glue, when overused, can lose its stick. And sometimes, the best thing you can do is let the pieces fall where they may and see who puts in the effort to hold things together with you.
It’s Time to Check In on YOU
So, if you’re feeling tired of being the glue, this is your permission slip to step back. To check in on yourself for once. To let go of the pressure to always be the one. And be YOUR CHEERLEADER for a while.
Because the real ones? They’ll still be there. And the ones who disappear? Well… maybe they were never really stuck to begin with. AND that is ok.
Know You Be You Love You®
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