You’re Not Just a Mom—You Deserve Friends Too

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Let me guess. You’ve got a million things on your plate: school drop-offs, laundry that multiplies like rabbits, work (paid or unpaid), and somehow, you’re also supposed to remember which kid hates cucumbers and who has PE on Tuesday.
You’re in the thick of it. I’ve been there.

But I’ll never forget what my granny told me when I first told her I was pregnant. She looked at me with that knowing, no-nonsense expression and said: “Bootsy, don’t forget about YOU. Take care of yourself now and after the babies. Do things you enjoy. Go out with your husband and friends—without the kids.”

It stuck with me.

Because, unlike what most people say, “Oh girl, enjoy your life now, ‘cause once you have kids it’s over ‘til they’re grown,”—Granny wasn’t preaching self-sacrifice as a badge of honor. She was giving me permission to be more than just a mom.

And now, as a mom of three (ages 16, 18, and 20), I know how right she was.

Just because you’re someone’s mom doesn’t mean you can’t have friends and a life outside of “mommy.”

How Mom Guilt Steals Your Time and Energy

Mom guilt is that little voice in your head that whispers, “You should be with your kids right now”—even when they’re at school, with their friends, or simply not thinking about you.

Where does it come from?

• Society’s impossible standards
• Social media perfection
• Our own desire to give everything we’ve got

It sneaks into your life quietly. You cancel that lunch date, skip the walk with your neighbor, and tell yourself, “Later.” But later turns into years—and suddenly, you haven’t had a real adult conversation in weeks.

The Truth: Friendships Help You Fight Mom Guilt

Let’s be clear: you need mom friends. Not just to vent about your kids, but to laugh, to relate, to remember you’re more than someone’s snack supplier.

Friendships help:

• Reduce stress and isolation
• Improve your mental health
• Give you something to look forward to
• Remind you of who you are
• Normalize the chaos you’re living through

Because yes, Karen down the street also hides in the pantry sometimes.

Why Mom Guilt Shouldn’t Stop You From Taking “Me Time”

Here’s a truth bomb: You’re allowed to have needs.

You’re not a bad mom for wanting an uninterrupted meal or a grown-up conversation. Want to enjoy a mimosa at brunch? Do it. Want to chat about something other than report cards or Fortnite? Please do.

To shift the guilt:

• Change your mindset: You’re setting an example, not abandoning your role
• Boundaries matter: Your kids are watching you model self-worth
• Balance isn’t about doing everything—it’s about choosing intentionally

Simple Ways to Prioritize Mom Friendships Without the Guilt

Let’s be real—fitting in friendships isn’t always easy. But it is worth it.

Here’s how to make it happen:

• Schedule it: Add “friend time” to your calendar like a doctor’s appointment
• Start small: Even 30 minutes counts
• Be flexible: Impromptu coffee after school drop-off? Yes please

And guess what? Your kids will be fine while you do. They’re probably texting their own friends anyway.

My Personal Journey with Mom Guilt and the Power of Lunch Dates

For years, I was that mom encouraging other moms to say yes to lunch. Or to grab that impromptu coffee after school drop-off. I wasn’t trying to push deep sisterhood. I just knew what my granny told me was true:
“Don’t forget about YOU.”

I understood early on the importance of relationships and conversations—not just the deep ones, but the simple ones that gave us breath, space, and a bit of sanity in the chaos of motherhood.

Not every mom date was a soul-bearing session.
Sometimes it was just a 30-minute chit chat about the weekend.
Sometimes it was swapping stories about a toddler meltdown or laughing about hiding in the bathroom with a snack.
Sometimes, it was just a breather—a confirmation that I was, indeed, a “normal” mom. Smile.

Those simple moments were powerful. They reminded me that connection didn’t have to be complicated.
It just had to be intentional.

You Deserve a Life Beyond Mom Guilt

If you’ve been living in survival mode for years, mama, I see you.
But here’s your permission slip. Go make that lunch date. Guilt-free.

Text that friend. Reconnect. Laugh out loud in public. You deserve joy, sisterhood, and a life that feeds you outside of motherhood.

Mom guilt, be gone. Let’s do lunch. And moms, the littles will grow up and have their own lives. So don’t stop living yours just because you’re a mom.

And if you’re looking for a place to start or just need someone to say “me too” over coffee, Mamas and Coffee®️ hosts laid-back virtual coffee talks and in-person events just for moms like you.

No pressure. No judgment. Just real talk and real connection.

Join our Facebook group and sign up for our newsletter to know about our mom meetups, join in on the conversation and start overcoming mom guilt today.

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