Family,  Parenting

I Was Scared, Shocked, and Unsure But None Of That Mattered…

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MomJonz is excited to have a guest blogger.  A DAD!  Yes, let’s hear from Joel about his adventure into parenthood. Joel is a motivator, and I must say that he makes me rethink my purpose in life often.  

Fatherhood
photo credit: HolgersFotografie

I’m 34 years old and for the…well…countless amount of times, I have a confession to make.

 

Just like Darth Vader to Luke Skywalker, I am a father.

 

This may not come as a shock to you but for someone who, up until his 30th birthday was still unsure as to whether or not he wanted to be one, it is a shock.

 

I remember the day it happened…

 

In the final month of my 31st year, I bought my wife a Pandora Charm to signify that I was ready to have a child (tacky, I know). With a smile that I will never forget, she said, “Let’s get this show on the road.” 9 months later in my 32nd year, my son was born.

 

Just like the day your child was born, his is a day that I will never forget. Never.

 

Like most first time parents before me, I spent the first four months wondering what I had gotten myself into. Although you would be hard pressed to hear my wife say the same, I did catch a look in her eyes once or twice telling me the same.

 

Countless screaming nights coupled with uncertainty as to whether or not I was doing the right thing fueled questions like:

  • What have I done?
  • Why me?
  • When will it end?
  • Can’t she do it?
  • Is screaming the only thing he does?

 

Somewhere after the fourth month things magically began to change. I really can’t explain it and unless you’ve been there, you won’t know what I mean. If I must explain it, I suppose it was almost like the magic that Disney claims to have when they say that, “Dreams do come true.”

 

My questions found answers and the answers started and ended with YES.

From that moment on things took a well-deserved turn for the better. His personality began to shine through like an early morning sunrise. Suddenly, without even realizing it, a man stood before me. Albeit, a little man but a man nonetheless. This wasn’t any man. No, this was my son. He is a man who I am responsible for, a man who I am to pass my infinite wisdom onto, and a man that I am to guide through life.

 

Up until this time, I always wondered the purpose of the quotes:

 

“Live each day as if it was your last.”

“Think about the present rather than the past or future.”

“Take life one day at a time.”

 

Now I understand and I make every effort to live them out each day of my life.

 

If I’m sitting here pouring my heart and thoughts out, I’d like to tell you one more thing. Contrary to the “think about the present”, I can’t help but think of the future and the things that we will do and share together.

 

No, I don’t mean any of the typical father/son things. I mean the real stuff…the real men stuff.

 

  • The look in his eyes when he says nothing, yet I know exactly what he is thinking
  • Knowing the precise moment that we need each other even though we haven’t expressed it
  • The man nod when he agrees with what I am saying
  • The quiet respect that he has for me and that I have for him

 

Those things.

 

Real…male…bond. The bond that only a father and son could possibly understand.

 

As I sit here and write this, I am amazed at how much my life has changed. From the beginning fear to the current calm, life is an amazing gift and a gift that I am happy to pass down to my son.

 

At 32 and a half years old, I now understand what the true meaning of life is.
I Was Scared, Shocked, and Unsure. Words from a dad about becoming a father.

 

 

 

You can read more stories by Joel at his wonderful motivational site, Joel A. Scott  

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MomJonz is a mother of three and wife to a US Naval Officer. She believes you should live life to the fullest because you only have one! This isn't your regular ole mommy blog. Trust me; she will touch on all aspects of love, life, family and home, but it will be real and transparent. Come on, grab your selected beverage and take a read.

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