Do you remember playing house as a kid? You knew what you wanted to be when you grew up. Knew who your husband would be. And even knew where you would live. Yeah, you were going to live with your parents with your husband, two dogs, hamster, bird and pet pig. You also knew you wanted to have five kids. Or did you? Did/do you want kids?
When I was a child, I loved playing house. I had one doll that I loved playing with. Shhhhhhoooooooooot, I even knew who my husband was going to be. As the years went by I realized my dream husband didn’t even know I existed and I quickly realized this gal didn’t want kids. Kids came with responsibility and mess. Those little jokers were just a HOT MESS and hmmmm…..no thanks.
I was a teenager who had goals. This chick was going to go to college in California, buy a condo with all white furniture, drive a convertible, be a regular at a jazz spot and most importantly be a big-time executive. There was NO room in my life for a husband nor kids. Maybe I could get a cute little dog and hire a dog walker. Yeah, yeah, that was the plan!
Now, some of you are thinking how horrible of a person I was turning out to be. Some are thinking about the number of women who are unable to have children and would do almost anything to birth a child. And trust me, my heart goes out to those women. At the same time, we have to recognize and respect those who do not want children.
There are many reasons why many women do not want children. Society tells us we are selfish because we focus on ourselves and careers. But I beg to differ. I am now a mother of three beautiful daughters and married to an AMAZING man. No, I didn’t go to college in California and didn’t buy a condo with all white furniture either. I did go to college, purchased several homes and traveled the world. And oh, we do have that cute little dog. #TEAMCARLOS!
No one can tell you to become a parent. That’s a choice you MUST make. Like…for real. Being a parent is WORK. OMG. Kids never stop. They always want something. They always need something. They always have something to say. “Ain’t nobody asks you a darn thing!”
Parenting doesn’t come with a specific handbook for your home, but you can get some great tips from books, videos, family members and friends. And we will make mistakes as parents. We will lose our minds and want to run away. But you know what helps me face each day with a new start? Having a support system. Yes, my husband is great, my family is great, but I’ve found my biggest support from some everyday, hardworking women just like me. Like for reals…we are all in the same boat. We just want the best for our kids. We want to enjoy life. We want to know that we aren’t alone. And this group of women, truly brighten my day.
Get Your Life Together
I always tell my kids, #MaCs and myself this…… Get YOUR LIFE TOGETHER! I do not believe that you can fully be prepared to become a parent, but I do think it should be when the time is right for you and your spouse. You are the ones taking care of this child for the next eighteen years. Not the many folks telling you how wonderful you will be as a parent or how much they will be there to help. Cause, hmmmm…..I don’t recall anyone else changing diapers, chasing toddlers, chauffeuring or dropping dollars on a regular for any of our kids.
As a matter of fact, children should be discussed before marriage. Are you on the same page when it comes to starting a family? Oh, I have a story for you on that. Yeeeesssssss child, it. got. hot. up. in. there! Stay tuned for that article. Actually, just join my facebook page or subscribe to my email list (no, I’m not spamming you. You will only receive updates of new articles) on the sidebar to get the article updates sent to you straight off the press!
So in closing. If you are that person in your friend group who doesn’t want to have kids, don’t let others guilt you. You may change your mind later in life. I did. And I love being a mom. And I love it even more after finding the support and love of others who believe in keeping it real about motherhood, womanhood, and life in general. If you are looking for such support or even some good ole fun, join us!
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