Continuing to build a healthy relationship
When you’ve been with your significant other for some time you start to settle into a routine. After you have kids that seems to make the stress on the relationship even greater. Once those routines are set in stone it’s hard to break out of it. Excuses will come pouring in and you will find several reasons to not take time for yourselves.
This needs to stop now! Today, right this second.
If you want your children to grow up watching, you and your spouse succeed against all odds then you must make building a healthy relationship a priority.
I know this may not be the view of everyone, however, my view on my marriage is this; My relationship comes first. My marriage is number one. I was dating my spouse before I was married. I was married before the children came along. I was a wife first and if there is any hope of beating the big D, then I must put my relationship first.
Now I must admit when it comes to dating my own husband, we don’t go out all the time. In fact, it’s rare that we get to go out at all because we have a little one that not many people are willing to watch.
Dating your spouse doesn’t mean you must go out on the town and spend a ton of money, but if you can get out of the house and leave the kids with someone you should do it. Don’t feel bad about it either. This time is important to building on that foundation that began when you started dating.
Now if you can’t go out on the town, having a date with your “person” could mean putting the kids to bed early and turning on a movie that has a higher rating than G. There are so many things you can do. Here are some great ideas.
One of my most memorable dates recently was on a very clear, dark evening over the summer. It was late and my husband and I were sick of watching the women’s soccer games during the Olympics. So we took some blankets and cushions outside on our back deck and laid under the stars and just talked. There was a meteor shower going on at the time. We must have laid out there for hours.
If you get stuck in a rut of the daily grind you could forget why you even liked your partner to begin with.
Having adult conversation is good for one’s sanity.
I’m sure you have moments when you’re tired of arguing about which kind of pop tart you won’t be feeding your child for snack time.
There were days as a stay at home mom where the only thing I wanted to do was talk to someone who could carry on an intelligent conversation. We’ve all had these days. Even when we have stressful days at work. A little adult conversation about your hobbies or passions could be just what you need.
Sharing your struggles and successes with your spouse will give you both the support you need to continue to better yourselves. You have a sounding board sleeping next to you at night! Take advantage of that!
Growing closer together
Chances are you’ve been with your spouse for a number of years. As individuals, we grow and change constantly. You have two individuals in one relationship that are both growing and changing as people. The goal is to grow together, right? You have to fuel that fire that brought you together and continue to connect with your significant other.
You can grow closer to your spouse by sending each other texts that are maybe NSFW. Leave each other notes. Sitting closer to each other while watching a movie. Hold hands and show each other the love that you feel. You could even grow closer together by cooking a meal together.
Building that healthy relationship is all about growing together as people.
Bringing out who you were when you first got together
As each year passes your maturity level grows and you slowly start becoming different versions of yourselves. When you take the time to date your spouse it can be a reminder of who you were and your spouse was when you first got married. Let your hair down and have fun. Remember those silly times that brought you together in the first place.
It doesn’t need to be stressful. Make yourselves a priority and grow together as a couple. Continue to build that healthy relationship. Set an example for your children. You are going to be the one in the house with your husband or wife long after the kids have moved out. Besides, dating is much cheaper than the alternatives.
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Heather is an accountant by day and blogger by night. She’s raising a family with her husband as well as her business while working full-time. Her girls are 1 and 6 respectively, so she’s knee deep in diapers and attitude on a regular basis. You can find more of her work at Blissful Intent.