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If you’ve ever struggled with making friends as an adult, this conversation might hit a little different.

Friendship is funny like that. Sometimes the people you think will be your people never quite make it past small talk, and then out of nowhere, someone you never expected ends up becoming one of the real ones. That is exactly what we’re talking about on this episode of The Mamas and Coffee Show—the friend you never saw coming.

You know the one. The friendship that makes you pause and think, “Wait… how did this happen?” Maybe the age gap is bigger than expected. Maybe your personalities seem completely different. Maybe your lifestyles do not match up on paper. And yet somehow, something just clicks.

That is what makes this conversation with Grace so good. We’re talking about how unexpected friendships happen when you stop assuming you already know who someone is. Too often, people miss out on meaningful relationships because they judge too quickly. We see someone’s age, personality, parenting status, energy level, or even their social media presence and we start writing their story before we ever have a real conversation.

But, hey, that is how you miss out on good friendships.

Adult Friendships Do Not Always Look the Way You Expect

One of the biggest takeaways from this conversation is how adult friendships rarely look the way we think they should. Grace shares how many of her closest friendships do not fit the typical mold. Some people her age do not have kids, while some of the people she connects with most are older because they are in the same stage of life.

That right there is a reminder that friendship is not always about age; it is about understanding.

I share my own story about Grace because she is absolutely one of those friendships I never saw coming. We have an 18-year age gap, and when I first met her, I honestly thought, “We probably do not have much in common.” She has little kids, she is younger, and she seems quiet. I completely misread her.

But over the years, through conversations on the show and real-life moments behind the scenes, I realize something important. Real friendship is not always about finding someone who is just like you. Sometimes it is about finding someone whose heart meets yours in the places that matter.

First Impressions Can Make You Miss Great People

A lot of unexpected friendships only happen when you are willing to look beyond your first impression.

• Maybe you think someone is too quiet.
• Maybe you think they are too loud.
• Maybe you think they are too young.
• Maybe you think they are too different.

But once you actually sit down and talk to someone, hear their story, and learn about their life, everything can change.

The truth is, grown-woman friendships require a little humility. Sometimes we have to admit our first impression is wrong. And sometimes the person we assume we would never click with ends up becoming someone who supports us, listens to us, and shows up in ways we never expected.

Making Friends as an Adult: Why It Feels Different

The truth is, making friends as an adult takes more intention than it did before, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible, it just means you have to be a little more open and a little more willing.

When your kids are little, friendships almost happen automatically. Your kids are the matchmakers. You meet people at school events, sports practices, birthday parties, and playgrounds. But when your kids get older or when you simply move into a different stage of life, those natural meeting spaces start to disappear.

That means sometimes you actually have to put yourself out there on purpose.

You might go to community events.
You might join groups.
You might even strike up a conversation in the grocery store aisle.

Now Grace still thinks talking to random people in the grocery store for an hour is a little extreme BUT listen, sometimes that is how friendships start. A quick conversation can turn into a connection before you even realize what happens. And sometimes that conversation is something that puts a smile on you and other other person’s face for the day.

Online Friends vs. In-Person Community

Another part of the conversation that comes up is online friendships versus in-person friendships.

There is often this belief that friendships that begin online are somehow less real. But that is not always true. Some online friendships turn into incredibly meaningful relationships. Sometimes the person who checks in on you every day, encourages you, and shows up for you emotionally might live in another state or even another country. And yes, I’ve been friends with someone online for years. A couple, to be exact. One we talked online for 3 years before we officially met in person, but we talk almost everyday via Voxer. The other, we met and started talking to and checking in one another because of my Mamas and Coffee Facebook group; voice messages throughout the day of us chatting, sharing about our day, etc. The simple…”good morning. How are you today? Girl…..let me tell you….” it goes a long way.

Connection can absolutely begin online.

At the same time, there is something special about building community in real life, sharing space with people, and having those conversations face-to-face.

And honestly, that is exactly why I created Coffee Talks.

Because sometimes you need a place where you can pull up to the table virtually or in person and just have a real conversation with people who get it.

At Coffee Talks, women gather to talk about life, friendship, motherhood, growth, and all the things we are usually juggling quietly. Sometimes we meet online, sometimes we meet in person, but the goal is always the same—real connection, honest conversation, and a reminder that you are not navigating life alone.

So yes… online friendships count.
And yes… in-person community matters too.

Around here, we make space for both.

Friendship Can Be for a Season, a Reason, or Real Life

This conversation also naturally leads into something we talk about next—friendship seasons.

Not everyone in your life stays in the same role forever.

Some people are lifelong friends.
Some people are seasonal friends.
Some people are brunch friends.

Some people pour into you, and some people drain the life out of you.

That is why our next conversation focuses on doing a friendship audit—looking at who pours into your life, who supports you, and who might simply belong in a different category or who may need to be let go.

But before we even get there, this episode reminds us that sometimes the friend you never expect ends up being exactly the friend you need.

How to Be Open to Unexpected Friendships

If you’re wondering how to make friends as an adult, it often starts with one simple thing—being open. Not every connection is going to feel instant, and not every person is going to look like your “type” of friend at first glance. But when you allow yourself to have conversations without overthinking, you create space for real connection to happen.

Sometimes it’s as simple as saying hello, joining a conversation, or showing up to spaces where other women are looking for connection too. The more you step outside of your comfort zone, the more you realize that the friendships you need may not look anything like the ones you expected.

Watch the Full Episode of The Mamas and Coffee Show

If you have ever looked at someone and thought “We would probably never be friends” only to later realize they become one of your favorite people… this episode is for you.

We talk about unexpected friendships, adult friendships, online friends, in-person community, and why keeping an open mind can change your life in ways you never expect.

Watch the full episode of The Mamas and Coffee Show to hear the full conversation, the stories, the laughs, and the real talk. It’s the recording of the LIVE, but there’s been no editing, just our REAL selves having REAL conversation.

And if you are looking for a place to connect with other women navigating life, friendship, motherhood, and everything in between, come join me at a Coffee Talks event—virtually or in person.

Because sometimes all it takes is one conversation…
to meet the friend you never saw coming.

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