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A view of the ocean from an overlook.

What is your favorite color?  Fashion Diva Girl started our dinner conversation on Sunday with this question.  After church, we headed to The Lanai At Mamalabay to have linner (late lunch, early dinner).

So, here we were sitting outside enjoying the beautiful weather in Hawaii and watching the waves when this question came about.  Of course we each took turns sharing our favorite colors.  When it was my turn, she smiled and said, “Blue.  Mommy’s favorite color is blue.”  I smiled and nodded.

It’s no secret to my family what my favorite color is.  Yes, Mamas and Coffee is all about black and red, but that’s because those colors are sexy to me. And ladies, we should feel sexy in our own skin.  BOOM!!!!  Ok, anywho….blue has always been my favorite color, and our kids know this.  But there was something a little special about this conversation on this particular day.

Over the weekend we discussed listening to others.  Most of the time we hear what a person is saying, but we are NOT listening to them.  Instead, we hear a few words to only begin formulating our rebuttal. Or if I want to lighten the blow to you, maybe it should say…We don’t understand, so we start sharing our opinions and views in hopes of shedding light on the other person sharing.   Naw, let me just be blunt!  We listen to what we want to listen to, and most of the time we STOP listening when something is said that we don’t agree with, we don’t like, or when we feel uncomfortable.  You hear me, but you’re not listening.  Ohhhhh….did I just step on some toes?  It’s ok. We’re all guilty on some level.

We all can learn when we stop to listen

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A question as simple as “what is your favorite color” can spiral out of control with kids.  Yeah, really.  Don’t act as you’ve never experienced a full breakdown from a child because you didn’t like a specific color or shade.  Or maybe it was you added cheese to the grilled cheese sandwich today, and it should’ve only been one slice of bread.  This question (what is your favorite color?)in their little world is equivalent to some adult topics.  Topics that no one wants to talk about.  Topics we feel aren’t appropriate or “politically correct” to have.  Topics around religion, parenting, rights, politics, race, education, etc.  The list goes on.
What is your favorite color could’ve ended up in a debate.  A debate about why one shouldn’t like a specific color or how they never wear a color, so how could this be the favorite?
So, what am I saying here?  My daughter remembered our favorite color discussion from who knows how long ago and instead of trying to convince me to like another color or break it down by shade, she listened to me.  My voice saying, “My favorite color is blue.”  There was no trying to figure out where I was coming from, no trying to dig deeper, no persuading me to have a more in-depth look at the color wheel to figure out the exact shade because that would suit her better.

 

As we all sat peacefully at dinner, I was reminded that if we continue to teach and show love, share stories, and experiences, we will eventually be heard.  Our stories and feelings will be taken into account.  You see, maybe we all need to listen to one another and learn.

 

Remove your personal feelings and thoughts when someone is sharing their life story or feelings with you.  You may learn a little something about them and their walk in life.  Trust me, everyone has a story to share and a lesson to teach.  Are you willing to learn?

 

 

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